Back in the day, blackberries and apples were for eating. With such rapid advances, a modern gentleman in 2015 should be up to date with the latest socio-technological rules. When eating together, is it fine to put your phone out on the table like you're waiting for something better to happen?
Nowadays, it’s not surprising that we sometimes become a little distracted and neglect our gentlemanly duties. We’re busier than ever. But do take a few minutes out of your busy schedule to read our ultimate guide to techiquette and decorum for the modern gentleman.
1. DON’T USE PHONE AT THE URINAL
If you’re looking at your phone while using the urinal, it kinda looks like you’re taking “special selfies”. A gentleman has high standards of hygiene, so pay attention to the sign on the door reminding you it’s for “gents”. The urinal is a sanctuary of flowing pleasure, not a place to watch that funny youtube clip or check the latest facebook update.
2. DON’T BE A PEPPERONI PAPARAZZI
If you have a phone, it’s unlikely you’ve never seen food on a plate, so there’s no good reason for you to be so over-awed that you need to take a photo. Your dinner is not Earth from space. In fact, people are used to pictures of Earth from space and that’s one of humanity’s biggest achievements; you having a bowl of noodles really is not.
3. SHOW UP FOR THE BREAK UP
A selfie does not count as face to face, even if you do your best sad-face; nor does a skype call, especially when you’re conferencing with your boss at the same time. It takes courage to be there in person and own up when things aren’t working, so show up, and no matter what else happens, you won’t be the subject of “worst ever boyfriend” conversations women have in the future.
4. MAKE SURE YOU FIT IN THE 21ST CENTURY
It’s all very well having the latest gadgets and knowing how to use them in a gentlemanly fashion, but if you’re not applying technology to your choice of shirts, then you’re living in the past. ShirtsMyWay.com lets you design your own shirt and uses the most update-to-date technology to ensure your shirts fit you perfectly, so when you’re out at a function, your sleeves aren’t swimming in the canapés. Make sure you exude 21st century suave. Life’s too short for bad shirts: awesome shirts here and special offer here.
5. DON’T AIR DIRTY LAUNDRY ON FACEBOOK
Facebook. Great for keeping in touch with people you wouldn’t otherwise have time to share how brilliantly you’re doing with, and for arranging group events that give you the opportunity to be brilliant in person. It’s not the best place to discuss personal issues in your life, entertaining onlookers. It can be a permanent record of you not at your best. Airing private issues on facebook? It’s a thumbs down.
6. USE BACK CAMERA MORE THAN FRONT CAMERA
Selfies are not particularly novel. People have been taking them since the invention of personal cameras and just called them… wait for it… you’ll never guess… that’s right - photos! Giving something a cute name does not make participating any less ridiculous. You’re a man, not a meme - take a decent photo of whatever it is that made you want to picture it in the first place. If that is your madly grinning face in really bad lighting, well done on the self-esteem, but just don’t post it online.
7. REMEMBER TO CALL MOM
Mom is an important person. Mom brought you to life. You’re a gentleman. You know to call your Mom regularly. But time passes so quickly when you’re achieving great things, attending marvellous events, and being generally awesome. Understandable, yes. Excusable, no. Use Google Calender to schedule set reminders to phone her.
8. TWITTER IS NOT A BOXING RING
There is no way to win a fight on twitter. The character limitation means there’s no room for eloquent debate. The format of twitter favours the less intelligible who can express the range of what they think and feel in handy acronyms, so remember: never bother to engage in a twitter fight - there are plenty of people crazier than you who will persevere long after you’ve gone to bed/work. When it comes to disputes, do not hash it out on twitter.
9. PHONES ARE NOT ON THE MENU
Don’t check your phone whilst eating with other people. Sitting down to eat with someone, even if you do it regularly, is still an act of trust and affection. When asking yourself what you can bring to the table, the answer should not be “your phone”. Talk about the events of the day (that you looked up on your phone before dinner time) or just enjoy a break from having the world at your fingertips and let them feel the breaking of bread instead.
10. IT’S COOL TO CALL
People used to not have mobile phones. Not have mobile phones! It’s like thinking that the Earth was flat, which would’ve made for great reception coverage. Tech developments have given us loads of cool things, but that doesn’t mean you have to abandon the talk function on your phone. Call people on their birthdays instead of posting on their walls. Hey, you could even go really retro and use a landline! It's what we do that define us. That, and really nice shirts.